Everyone experiences different things as they go through their 20s, as I get ready to join the 30s club here are a few things that I have learnt:
What to do next? 🤔
When I was Imogen’s age, I had finished my degree and wasn’t sure if I wanted to do something with my degree. Our parents had moved up to Nottingham during my second year of uni so I didn’t really know the area or have any friends in the Midlands. I didn’t rush into a job and just got a retail job until I worked out what I really wanted to do and get used to the area. Back then it honestly panicked me that I didn’t know what direction I wanted to go in life.
As I look back now, I’m glad I didn’t rush as everything worked out for the best. From taking that year to decide, I was able to volunteer in a school which led me to realise I wanted to be a primary school teacher. Some would argue that I should have already decided what I wanted to do but what’s the rush. I would rather do something that makes me happy than because society told me I had to.
Making friends 👭
They say the people you meet at uni are friends for life and I agree to some extent. I would say with uni friends you need to make the effort as after uni life becomes busy. You are working a full time job as well as socialising like any 20 something year old. You also need to factor in the fact you may not live near each other.
The exciting part of starting life after uni is the friends you will create at work or through hobbies. Being a teacher, I have been really lucky that I work with people that are like minded to me. The friends you create in your 20s come into your life through things you enjoy. I won’t lie I did find making friends in my 20s hard. I used to people please and hope that everyone would like me. I was once told:
“Not everyone is going to like you, everyone has enemies”
-and it’s so true. It’s okay to not get along with everyone!
Focus on friendships not romantic relationships. 💑
When people head into their 20s, they start thinking, if they haven’t already got a partner, I need to find “the one” to settle down with and create a life with. Partners can come and go but friends will stay with you through thick and thin. Friends are the foundations of a happy life. If you just need a cup of tea and a natter or a cocktail and a dance they will be there. It is also okay to have a “friend renovation” as our perspective of life and goals can change. Keep those that are value to your life and remove those who don’t.
Travel, Travel, Travel ✈️
I decided when I was 27 that I didn’t want to live with regret. I had always wanted to travel for a long period of time so I decided to quit my job and use some of my savings to travel South East Asia and New Zealand. It was one of the hardest decision I’ve ever made as a lot of my friends were buying houses, getting engaged or having kids. The decider for me was the fact I didn’t have my own house or a kid meant I didn’t have any ties or responsibilities. I had worked hard and gained experience in my job but I wanted to see what else life had to offer.
There are so many positives to spending time travelling abroad. It can bring people out of their comfort zones and try things they never thought they could do. It’s cringy to say but I learnt so much about myself. It’s shaped the person I am today.
It’s never too late to travel. If you are worried about work, some jobs offer a sabbatical in which they will hold your job for a few months or it could be an opportunity for you to have a break and start a new career when you are back. Whilst travelling, I read the book “Good Life, Good Vibes by Vex King” and it gave me a completely different perspective on life. Before I went travelling, I was quite a negative person. I thought the worst in everything and overthought all situations. I still do have my moments but after reading this book and seeing there was more to life, I realised that it was a waste of my energy.
A positive outlook in life brings positive outcomes.
Never chase anyone who doesn’t want you
Not a job, not a love interest. The right path way will come to you. Go where you’re wanted, make your own opportunities, and never wait for someone to ask you to do what you want to do. Your gut will tell you if you are making the right decision. As Vex King said “stop trying to impress people, impress yourself, stretch l yourself, test yourself, be the best version of you that you can be”.
The biggest worry is that “ I don’t have my life together”.
Well I think that if I compare myself to others but I do have my life together. It’s hard in the 21st century to not compare yourself to people with social media at our fingertips but I am healthy, I have a great job and I’m surrounded by amazing people. Yes I don’t own my own home, nor am I married or have children but it’s not the right time for me to have those things. Everyone is on their own journey and it doesn’t matter what age you do them. I did a little Google and I found some interesting statistics:
The average age for people to be buying a house is 33.
The average age at first marriage is now 31, compared with a 20th century low of 23 in 1970.
Most women now have their first child from the age of 32, new Office for National Statistics (ONS) figures show.
Your 20s should be about enjoying your life, create those memories and learn about yourself.
Live your life how you want to and create your own timeline.
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